Tiny Loves

I am in 20 something degree weather - struggling to make ends meet - going from doctor to doctor - I have found something to look forward too - the future.
Behold my grandmother's birthday celebration, in the warmth of South Florida, she has found midget stripper love... and it is a beautiful thing!


so basically I have kidney stone's and grandma got a lap dance from a midget stripper.... when did I become old?

A New Direction

While I enjoy walking to and from doctor appointments I still haven't found a new job... nor have I finished my thesis play. (My first draft was due Monday I think.) I have yet to figure out Act Two. I mean I know what has to happen but for some reason my characters don't agree with the plan. So I have decided let nature take it's course. I mean that's what's happening in my life... I didn't plan to lose my job and get sick and not finish my graduate work. SO why should I plan out these characters lives? I have a situation, I have their past but the future is up to them. Since I have only one doctors appointment left, I have the rest of the week to let my characters live. At least in their world no one is sick... or ... are they?

A New Profession?

I've turned into a professional patient. Only I'm not getting paid for it.
(Or anything for that matter)
Visits:
Primary doctor - thrice
Neurologist - twice
MRI of brain - once
Sonogram of pelvic/abdomen - once
Gynecologist - once
Now tomorrow I have to call a urologist - though with all these doctor visit over the last two weeks it is still unclear as to why I am chronically dizzy. What is known is I am going to be a proud mother to two KIDNEY STONES. One at .5 and one at .3. They are just sitting in me waiting to make their appearance. But no this doesn't cause dizziness... and I know because I already gave birth to one at.5 three years ago. At 26 years old I have 3 kidney stones? But everything else in and on my body is perfection... so the doctors say. Apparently my love of salt should be reconsidered.

SPOILED CHERRIES

It's that time when I plug my latest project. My play SPOILED CHERRIES is hitting Manhattan. It's only a short limited run but hey it's also one avenue from Broadway. So come one come all...

Manhattan Repertory Presents:

SPOILED CHERRIES

- A New Full-Length Play -

Director / Playwright: Hollie Rosenberg

Performance Dates: Jan. 21, 22, 23 2009 at 9pm

Location of Performances: Repertory 303 West 42nd Street (at 8th Ave) Third Floor

Featuring
Ilana Becker, Danielle Giovinazzi, Eason Smith
Christopher Sirota, Laura Mae Baker, Robert Aloi

Synopsis:
At what age does childhood end? 26 year old Sheila Kramer struggles with her refusal to grow up as those closest to her try to steer her in the right direction, she is forced to embark on a couch-hopping journey of self-discovery.

TO GET TICKETS: (646) 329-6588

THE RUN AROUND - Vertigo style

On my list of doctor visits I can now cross off Neurologist.

At first I was hopeful that this was it. This guy is bound to have the answers. As per usual I wait for over an hour before I am seen, listen to the doctor's aids at the front desk swapping gossip, reading the paper and argue over what's better Staten Island of Brooklyn. In the meanwhile I am filling out a million sheets of paper, most asking the same exact questions over and over. But then I came to one that I wasn't sure what to put down.

With my clipboard in hand I approach the "busy" aid and ask
"Here it says to put employees name but as of a few days ago I am unemployed. Do I still put it since it's how I have my insurance.?"
Some how that won them over. Anything I needed, including a direct number to reach them was in my graps.
"Oh you poor thing! To have this medical condition and to be let go?"
I go on to explain how my insurance is up at the end of the month. So do you think whatever test the doctor needs me to go have done can be with in a few days?
"Absolutely."
It's not a lie but I still feel weird about the reaction they gave me.

The doctor did indeed send me for an MRI. But before that he examined me. He did the whole hammer on the joints bit (which popped that huge lump in my wrist - GROSS!). He had me squeeze his hand. He looked into my eyes and ears.
After he says I want you to close your eyes and march really big in place. So I do it for what feels like five minutes and then he says:
"Okay. Stop. Don't open your eyes. Do you think you moved at all?"
Of course I say "no". But then he paused which made me think 'well I might have moved a little bit', "maybe a few steps back" I say.
"Well open your eyes."
I was two inches from running into the wall! Not only did I move - but I moved forward across the room and over to the right.
"That's it "he said. "Follow me".
We go back to his office and he writes down "Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo"
"Go google it" he says.
He goes on to say before I can say for certain this is it - I need to rule out anything else.

So a few days later I was lying in an MRI machine.

I've never had sugary or anything majorly medical done to me so this was very scary at first -- specially since I am claustrophobic. Luckily, since he was scanning my brain I didn't have to go all the way into the machine. But once I was in there I found it strangely relaxing. Sure there was a lot of noise - mechanical sounding - but I had on ear plugs. I just let the sounds turn into music. (They had strong rhythmic beats and somehow that soothed me.) After 20 minutes the guy working the machine told me what a nice person I was. Probably because I was asleep the whole time?

Another few days passed and the test result came back - my brain is normal. So does that mean I have Vertigo? If not what is wrong with me?

I called the doctors and after a few miss communications it seems more tests are needed. Of course they are. Meanwhile I don't feel dizzy anymore (just a little hint of it.) And my insurance is up very soon. So now I have to either get my own insurance and keep going to all these random test and doctors or I can just deal with it until I get a new job with health insurance. But then again this dizziness has already come and gone twice now. Who is to say it won't be back ten times worse?

Unemployment - Working for my own enjoyment - that ain't it kid

At first I didn't really care to much about the "economic crisis" -- that is until it indirectly effected me.

In the start I was just glad to see my tuition payments for school were made lower because the British Pound against the US Dollar started to slowly find a mid point. So at the start the crisis I saved close to $2000.00. Which was awesome. But then the ripple effect began.

The big players in the world either lost, or became frightened they would loose - so budgets and donations were cut. What would I care about some one not donated money? Well, the arts depend largely on the kindness of strangers. The money being cut is always for the frivolous expenses. Not that I think Theater is frivolous. Obviously not or I wouldn't have gone into $30,000.oo debt to better myself in said arts, and indirectly contributing to the financial crisis.

A whole lot of theaters are shutting down, or slimming the fat. It's a bad time to be in the theater industry. What was it, like 16 shows or something closed on Broadway this month. I mean - yes shows do close in January because it's the slower season but come on!

And again, I didn't really care yet because I was an agents assistant. The agents clients were working. The Agency was cutting corners yes, no holiday party, smaller bonuses, but hey - at least I got one! Not only that but I had two weeks off (paid) over the holidays, as did everyone else there. But upon my return I was informed by the agent I worked for that he wasn't renewing his contract with the agency. Of course I had a hunch but I wasn't prepared for the next part.
"So when will you be leaving?" I ask.
"Tomorrow." He says.
And I sit there a little stunned. But more importantly what does this mean for me? I thought. Well, to the Agency it meant buuuubye. As I was an agents assistant, if the agent isn't working there then that pretty much means I have no purpose. If you have no purpose well then kids, you have no job. So with one days notice, no severance pay - out I went.

Now it comes down to finding a new job - in an industry that's shutting it' doors and giving lay offs left and right. I was in the one stable part of it and I still managed to get the boot.

But I sure am glad I saved those $2,000 off my last tuition payment. Just a shame now that I have another one coming up. Ah well... at least I still have my health... oh no. Sorry, I am in the processes of visiting five specialist for the lump on my hand and the dizziness in my head. Well, at least I still have my health insurance until the end of the month.

I was telling all this to a friend I haven't seen in a while and she says... "Wait, do you still at least have a boyfriend?".... Does she know something I don't?

Sick as A Dog

I have two mystery illnesses. One is a huge lump on my wrist. Second is the chronic dizzy spell. I haven't had a clear head in three weeks. The worst part of both is I can never get a doctor when I need one.

Our dog Lyko has crust in his eyes. We called the vet and took him in an hour later. For me? It took me a week to get one doctors appointment. And when I saw him, he still didn't know what was wrong with me. His guess is an inner ear infection or Vertigo. I took the antibiotics and vertigo medicine. Neither worked. Our dog got diagnosed and prescribed medicine instantly. It's been two or three weeks since my last doctors appointment and I can't make another because of the holidays. The Doctor is not in. But the vet was.

How come our dog is getting better care then I am? I'm surprised I could look at the computer long enough to blog. I'm fighting the shifting motion I have, where it feels like everything shifts back and forth. The worst part is my work starts up again on Monday. We were lucky enough to have two full weeks off, but now I can't see a doctor because I can't take the time off of work.

My thesis play is due at the end of the month (first draft anyway) and the one free week I have to do nothing but it, is spent sleeping. I can't concentrate. My head feels like it's being squeezed and the world won't stand still.

Ah to be a dog and to walk into a doctors hour and an hour after calling for an appointment. Maybe I should put on a fur coat with a leash, something tells me I'd get the wrong kind of attention.