This has to be the most half ass-ed forth of July I've ever encountered.
I'm not saying I didn't enjoy the Thursday and Friday I had off but it feels like America was way to depressed to do anything for her big day. She basically sat on the couch eating bonbons while looking at old pictures of her and Britain when they were young and in love. 'What went so horribly wrong' she thought. Then she got a box of wine and drunk dialed Iran. Not gonna lie, it was really ugly.
Where is that sparkle you used to have old girl? Where are the roaring fire works and huge family style parties? None of those seemed to happen. NO apple pie and big dreams. She didn't even blow out the candles. People! Something isn't right here. I think we should all get together, wave a few flags and sing a few rounds of G-d Bless America. Maybe the old bitch will cheer up again.
I understand though, having a birthday but being so poor that everything you could think of to do makes you angry at yourself for having the need to spend money - that you don't have in the first place - on something so frivolous! Well, don't you cry anymore old gal, we'll find you a new step-daddy soon enough. That mean beady eyed creep will get the boot and who knows - maybe your Queen Mum will forgive you and let you back into the family. That would be nice wouldn't it? Having some nice shiny British Pounds to play with instead of your dirty dollar?
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